One year ago I could not imagine making it to this day. Soon after losing Gavin I began using a matra of "Just keep moving", and later when people asked how I was doing my response was almost always taking it minute by minute. I cannot say that the pain is any less, I would say I am more numb to it. Sometimes seeing a little boy on tv shed his jacket in excitement will bring me to tears. Sometimes I will remember something silly Gavin did and laugh. I think, maybe, the moments of laughter could be outnumbering those of tears. Gavin is still the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing I think of each night. Having your worst fear realized truly is a nightmare. When missing him so much takes my breath away I try to picture him in heaven running and laughing with all those who went before him. I find some comfort in knowing that I will see him again.
Mommy loves you Gavin, she misses your sweet face, bright smile and messy hair. You were a blessing and made our lives so much better, you will always have a place in our lives. We all miss you sweet boy, see you soon. xoxoxoxoxoxo